XXIV: Shard

Previous Entry

SHARD

“Is he the father!?” Sylis’s voice rang through the night.

Lana stood numb, the cool summer air chilling her bones. Her mind raced for a distraction, a lie, something to take the piercing blue eyes off of her. The dark streets began to light up as Sylis’s shouts continued to punctuate through the night. All Lana wanted was to run, but Sylis held fast to her arm.

She shook her head in response, which did little to appease Sylis. “Is he a potential father!?” he pestered, his grip tightening.

“You’re hurting me!” Lana retorted. She wanted to fight him, to make him let go, but she suspected he’d fight back. Sylis continued to stare at her, waiting for Lana’s answer. Her heart thundered as fear strangled the truth in her throat. Don’t cry! she told herself as emotion bubbled to the surface, don’t cry...

Rin had come up in conversation as they walked the streets of Zilspar, Lana talking too fondly of him. By doing so, Sylis asked about the kiss the Halfling had given her at their farewell party. Lana tried to brush it off as Rin being drunk, but the Wizard saw through it. There was no more lying about it.

Just as her mouth prepared to spill the truth, a door slammed near them.

“You dare question her honor!?” Shard’s voice boomed, sword drawn. He marched toward them, his boots clunking along the cobblestone road. Lana maneuvered herself between him and Sylis.

“Don’t Shard,” she said weakly, not able to meet his gaze, as Sylis continued to hold her firmly. “He’s allowed to ask questions.” The lump in her throat swelled as she turned, dreading that both would know. Once her eyes met with Sylis’s, her face contorted as she nodded her head in answer.

The look the Wizard gave her was filled with disbelief and betrayal. His grip relaxed as he took a step back. His mouth groped for words, but when they didn’t come, Sylis turned on his heels and walked away.

Complete panic broke out in Lana’s mind. A cry ripped from her throat as she called after him. She would have clung to Sy’s arm, but her legs sunk to the ground as she tried to breathe. The Wizard made no attempt to acknowledge her pleas. He left her. He walked away. The abandonment felt similar to her father’s rejection. Let alone he knows too much about her, and in that moment, she didn’t trust him with her secrets.

What have I done!?

To add fuel to her torment, Lana couldn’t help but wish Rin was there.

Strong, gloved hands, gripped Lana’s shoulders. “Hey, stop these tears. Let him go blow some steam off. He’ll come around. You made a mistake. Lots of people make mistakes. You make them, you learn from them, and you move on,” Shard tried to console. As he lifted Lana up, she felt her strength give out again. The Warforge didn’t understand.

“B-but it wasn’t a-a mistake Shard,” she began as he wrapped her in his arms and took her inside, “I-I did it on purpose. I in-instigated!”

“Oh I’m sure whatever it was, you were just in the heat of the moment. It’s not like you love the guy-”

Another loud wail escaped from Lana. “But I do! I love them both Shard! And I-I thought that maybe Rin and Sylis would be friends and-and I’d be able to be happy with both of them!”

Shard sat Lana down on her bed, letting the girl continue to cry on his shoulder. He smoothed her hair a little and handed her a tissue.

“You done yet?” he asked bluntly. Lana blew her nose, her eyes taking in the details of the wooden floor. In a more gentle tone, Shard asked, “Does Rin know about Sylis?”

Lana nodded, sniffling.

“Doesn’t seem very fair that you left Sylis on the outside, but you’ve got a choice to make now. If not for your own sake, then for that of the baby.”

“I know,” Lana whispered, “It’s just... complicated.”

Shard let a defeated sigh escape him, his body creaking as he shook his head. He made to leave, but Lana grabbed his arm.

“Would you please stay...?” she asked. Shard gave her a look as if to say he didn’t want to get involved, but then Lana added, “I don’t want to be alone,” and his resolve disappeared.

Lana slept with her back to the Warforge. It wasn’t Sylis or Rin, but it was better than no one. Shard had come with Lana to be her guard, which she delighted in because he always doted upon her. Tonight was the first time he had been so serious though...

Part of her wanted to be mad at him for not sympathizing with her more, but at the same time, Shard was right. She had a choice to make. Rin or Sylis? Weeks ago, it would have been an easy decision, but now... who did she give up? The person who supports her at her worst, or the one who inspires her become someone better?

Next Entry

XXIII: Rin

Previous Entry

RIN

“What about that one?” Sylis whispered. Lana looked across the campfire at a twelve year old boy. He was a hired on orphan, helping one of the merchants they were traveling with. Lana had even tried teaching him how to spin a hoop but to little success.

“No!” Lana hissed, “Too young and too familiar. We’d be among the first questioned!”

“It’s not like he has any family who’d miss him.”

“Sylis! Ya-know-what will just have to wait until we’re in town!”
Lana began to bite her nails. She could only hope she could make it to a town before lashing out. Her mind had been trapped for days, plagued with thoughts of blood. Often they crept back to the night Sylis had presented her with a victim. The memory once made Lana sick as she recalled her cold blooded kill. But now... she could feel her toes curl with anticipation.

“You know what I can’t wait for? Better food. I’m tired of the stews and beans, and does anyone know how to make a biscuit? Curse Rin for feeding us so well!” Sylis complained.

Lana nodded in agreement, but at the mention of the Halfling, the thoughts of killing vanished from her mind. A moment of needed clarity. How she wished Rin was beside her instead of Sylis. It was bad enough that her inner voice encouraged her to kill, but the Wizard made it all the worse. Rin would never assist her in such a lowly sport. Gods help me if he ever finds out...

Lana grinned in spite of herself as she thought about the Halfling and his ability to see the good in just about everything. “Don’t forget, Lana good here,” Rin said, tapping Lana’s heart, “And Rin will see Lana soon.”

She fought back the ugly tears. He had said those words to her the afternoon after the murder. Lana felt like dirt and part of her wished to come clean with the Halfling, but she wasn’t about to sabotage her relationship with him, especially when what she had been long waiting for seemed to be within reach. Sylis was willing to swallow his pride and make amends with Rin.

“Let’s have a farewell party with him,” the Wizard had suggested, “Send us off to my mother’s in fashion.”

Lana beamed her enthusiasm. It was unexpected of Sylis and would make the months without Rin more bearable. Lana had agreed to meet Xara because of what Sylis had done for her, but if she was honest, it was to avoid the Halfling until her guilt subsided. Rin had such faith in her, but she kept failing him. Her desire to be something more than a crazy murderer was becoming more of a wishful dream.- that is, unless Rin or Sylis followed through with a cure.

The Wizard left Lana to run a few errands for their departure, leaving Lana with Rin to arrange party plans The Halfling was more than pleased to host the gathering.

“Where Lana going to?” he asked as they walked the market.

“Trolanport. I’ll be meeting Sylis’s mother,” Lana mentioned cautiously as she examined a squash, “It also sounds like she has business to discuss-”

“Trolanport?” the Halfling interrupted.

“Yeah.”

“Rin have Uncle there! Maybe Rin visit Randy?” he said, not seeming to care about the introduction to Xara.

“That... would be amazing,” Lana said lightly, masking her apprehension, “If you’re able to arrange it, it would be nice to see ya,” Lana added. At first it felt like a lie, but every day that passed, the hope for Rin to meet her in Trolanport grew. Something that Lana clung to as a means to keep her mind off of killing.

The child within suddenly grumbled as Lana’s thoughts lingered on food and her last night with Rin. The Halfling outdid himself with a memorable feast: honey glazed lamb, brown buttered squash, tarragon green beans, roasted mushrooms, peach and berry tarts, and fresh made rolls. It was heavenly, and luckily, Rin made enough to feed a small army. What Lana thought would have been a private party of three, turned into a gathering of five. Don and Brugg came along for the festivities since they were to head out with Lana and Sylis in the morning.

The smile grew on Lana’s lips as she remembered Don suggesting a competition to see who could eat the most that night. Lana, not wanting to be bested by the men, kept pace for the first two helpings. The third plate was half finished before she sat back in surrender.

Lana watched the men continue to pack the food. Though not the best of table manners, the merriment filled Lana with warmth. After hours of laughter and Rin’s store of liquor nearly all spent, Lana helped her guild companions to various places within Rin’s home. Once they were comfortable, she then helped Rin over to his bed.

“Lana has good friends,” Rin mumbled, sleepily leaning forward and kissing her. “Lana so loved.”

“I think ya drank too much,” she replied, pulling the covers over him.

“Rin love Lana.”

“Lana loves Rin,” she whispered. She then dared a kiss on the Halfling’s temple.

Lana’s insides squirmed at the memory. When she turned away from Rin, she had found Sylis sitting up on the couch, a dark look in his eyes. Cautiously, she asked what was wrong. The Wizard blinked and shook his head slightly before focusing on Lana. A dopey grin stretched across his face.

“Absolutely nothing,” he sang, pulling Lana to him. A wave of relief washed over her as she took her place next to him.

What if he had seen? Lana wondered.

Sylis might not care anymore. Maybe he’s okay with it like Rin...

Is Rin really okay with it?

The smile had faded from Lana’s face. He deserves better than me, she thought, but Lana knew it was out of selfishness that she stayed with Rin. Her conscience could scream at her that she deserved to be alone, but Lana needed him. Rin made her feel worthy, even if she didn’t believe it.

Lana curled up next to Sylis, sleep far from her mind as her thoughts wrestled within.

Next Entry