Friday, January 22, 2016

An Unlikely Ally

9-9-2997

There is something pleasant about the quiet of night. Granted the soft snores of Markum, and the muffled merriment in the common room of the Inn, disrupt what could be perfect silence- but I won’t let that spoil my moment. Rather I will take pleasure with the pen in my hand, letting my eyes get lost in the ink as it scrolls across the page.
It is strange to use the boy so. His hands are bigger than my own, but I suppose that’s to be expected. Men usually were larger than myself. However I will stop before I go on wallowing. No one likes reading about that- yet do I really want people reading this? Ha! That would be amusing! To think this farm boy could write or think eloquently enough to state his desires. He can barely maintain his own convictions! He’s nothing more than a loyal pup.
I must not make fun of him though. Gale really is a good boy. I can see the goodness in his heart and really need him as an ally. Just maybe I will be able to persuade him to fully embrace how I see things. For now, I will exercise my patience and allow the ‘mundane’ evils to continue about me. It’s rather hard I must say. I don’t understand how it is he can allow such misfortune happen. Just this afternoon he let an opportunity to vanquish such vileness slip through his hands.
Gale and Markum had arrived in this bustling city, secured a room, and began to search for work. As they headed to find the Captain of the Guards, the two found themselves amidst a crowd when a fire broke out. Gale, being chivalrous and all, helped a little girl up, the poor sickly thing. By the time he was ready to be a hero, the fire was out and stood around watching the girl, her brother (whom I’m suspicious about), a halfling, and this other woman converse.
The woman’s name is Yulia. I only note her because she moseyed on up to Gale, hand out for him to kiss, and introduced herself.
“I don’t like her,” I told Gale.
“She seems nice,” He told me, though his head was all sorts of flushed.
“Don’t forget which head you’re thinking with,” I warned. The human got quiet with embarrassment. Besides, Markum is cuter.
I had little patience to let Gale stand around idle. Nothing was coming of the conversation with the group, so I reminded Gale we had better things to go about. The human dismissed himself by telling the crowd that he and Markum were needing to go. Low and behold, the brother and sister duo were on assignment from the Guard as it were. They were looking into a series of murders that stemmed from the fighting arena they had underground.
After a quick visit to the Guard Captain, ditching Yulia behind, and making sure the lot of us would be hired, Gale and Markum showed the duo and Halfling to the Inn for lunch.
“Lunch? Really?” I sighed.
“Unless you want my body to wither away, I must provide sustenance for it,” Gale reminded me.
“Just eat extra tonight. We need to find the murderers! We can’t let them remain at large.
“Patience you. There might be bigger things at work you know. For example, a Guard Captain allowing a fighting ring? I thought that would have been a red flag for you.”
“Yes, but I’m trying to prioritize what I will and won’t destroy. According to your ‘great wisdom’, taking out an entire fighting club operation isn’t a simple as killing a few murderers.”
Gale went about eating, ignoring me.
Once the meal finished, I was more than eager to get my human going. We made our way over to the market, the fighting ring taking place in the sewers, and began looking for signs of the club’s entrance. As we sleuthed about, that was when we came across some slavers! I grinned wildly, Gale reminding me, “We are not to kill them.”
I laughed as the brother sent a fireball at the six men. Even Markum and the Halfling were eager to spill the blood of the fiendish traders! And so I demanded action. Gale fought against me, stating we ought to protect the boy (he having been hit hard by one of the slavers) but my determination won for a moment.
Quickly I found my bearings, and pulled myself to the ready. I urged the long legs forward and slashed a decent strike across the man’s chest. The feel of blood cascading over me is a sensation I’ll relish.
“No!” Gale shouted at me. I could feel his surprise. I urged him to continue our attack, but he simply stood his ground, protecting the boy (Ausar if I remember correctly). He then had the gall to demand a surrender. “Surrender now and you’ll be treated more favorably than death,” Gale said. I rolled over in agony at the boy’s naivety. “Surrender!? You gave them the OPTION to SURRENDER!!!?” I cried, “Those vile things deserve nothing less than a sword in the back!”
“That isn’t our job,” he chided me, “We were told to find murderers. No one gave us the right to kill in this town.” I hope he felt the eye roll I gave him.
Well just as I suspected, the two men still standing high tailed it away. Markum asked Gale what his problem was. The boy repeated what he told me only to be met with similar opinions to my own. I was starting to like the group. They all seem to understand the urgency to eliminate the unkind.
Gale did regain some favor of mine. After managing to secure one of the slavers for interrogating, the group was more concerned about healing Ausar. Let alone the slaver was unconscious, and so the little girl, Umbrie, took us to her healer friend while Yulia (yes, she came back...) babysat.
As we walked through the market, I spotted a store that could supply the journal I desired. I pestered Gale once more, stating it was the least bit of decency he could give for all the bloodshed he prevented me from. And so, he made mention to the group he would catch up.
Markum chose to come with and spared the boy from stumbling over his words as he asked for supplies. I offered to lead saying, “Let me take over. I’ll order what I need and will give you your leadership back afterwards.” A firm ‘no’ I was met with and so endured the first minute of him stating he needed things to write letters with. Markum, noticing Gale’s floundering, stepped up and made the order clear to the shopkeep.
Then surprise, surprise, Ausar showed up. The young man paid for the material. Wouldn’t know why, but then again, who can refuse an act of kindness?
Right. With Ausar healed, we all regrouped with Yulia. Once the captive was tied to a chair in an empty warehouse, the vile woman began to entertain the man. The poor boy was confused by Yulia’s tactics, but enjoyed the spectacle silently from the others. That was until she began to torture the man! Sure the slaver deserved it, but torture is an unkind death.
Gale strived to reason with her, explaining that there were better ways to extract information. When she refused to listen, I insisted on using my method of persuasion. For a moment, I thought the boy was going to act! he whipped me out and held me taunt to the woman’s throat, Markum crossing me! Gale kept me to Yulia’s neck, her pulse dancing along my body. Still the woman refused to stop!
“Let me kill her!” I demanded. Gale then got hung up on the woman’s sob story as she undid the top of her dress. I don’t know why the boy got so distracted. Yulia hardly had a chest to show, but Gale grew reluctant.
The cries grew louder from the slaver, Umbrie trying to question him, and my rage building. Then the boy did something I didn’t expect. He let me take charge!
“I don’t know Kindness... Just make her stop.”
Without another word, I thrusted myself at Yulia. Unfortunately Markum intervened and thwarted my killing blow! I couldn’t condemn his kind gesture for the vile filth, but I marched up to the fighter as he guarded my target.
“You were far more attractive when you weren’t defending that evil thing,” I spoke, running a hand under his chin.
“Our fight is with the slaver, not the woman Gale!” Markum barked.
“Oh he’ll get what’s coming for him too!” I promised. And at that moment, fire engulfed us.
Unfortunately Gale took back the lead. How shaken he was by the scene, his own guilt for allowing me to act playing out. He held no ill will toward anyone. As he put it, “Things clearly got out of hand.” He then renewed his focus to investigate the fighting ring further.
Once outside, he tended to his burns, soaking some cloth in water and dabbing at the raw skin. He waited for the others, apologizing to Markum for fighting against him.
Then Yulia came out and said some curious words. She looked Gale squarely in the eyes and explained how she was a useful tool for him. He may not like her methods, but she could do the dirty work he wasn’t willing to do. The boy is conflicted. He’s too good to full heartedly accept what she said. I, however, saw an opportunity. Keep her close... indeed let her do the dirty work, and hopefully when she least expects it, I will be able to kill her in the end for all the evil she commits. I’m not entirely sure which one is playing with fire, but I have a feeling it will be Yulia who gets burned in the end for trying to work with me.

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9/14/2997: Heartache's Comfort pt. 1

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Tiæjk La’Dhroo ab Jujnis, 2997


I’m afraid I’ve accidentally broken Kimaris’s heart. At breakfast, I came down the stairs and found Achmath in the Inn! All manners and conduct left as I ran to him and wrapped my arms about him, kissing his face. Heavens! It was so good to see him! He happened to be in Ruebis on business and had thought about calling on my family about my whereabouts. But luck certainly was on our side.
When I did bid him farewell, I rejoined the others as they ate breakfast. Kimaris then began to question who my friend was. Unable to hide my embarrassment for my display of affection, I tried to brush it aside that Achmath was nothing more than a friend. The boy then sat down on the floor with his back to me.
Daevri then sat down next to Kimaris as I worked at my food. For a moment I thought the Human would have done good, for he had returned the stolen items. When I returned to my room this morning, Daevri was still there, but nothing remained of the armor and weapons from last night. I thanked him for his care and he left after Bordel barged in. The Cleric is looking extremely old today! I might not have recognized him if it weren’t for the mustache and the same long johns that he was in.
Anyways, I had thought Daevri a more decent person when I caught him suggesting to Kimaris that he get revenge on me for breaking his heart. “Ya know. A dagger is a great way to ease your pain and make her, or that man she was kissing, feel your suffering. Actually, you could kill two birds with one stone if you just taught the man a lesson.”
I stood swiftly and left the table without another word. I would have chastised him- I probably should have- but with my record on speaking out, it certainly would have ended with shame. Besides, escaping to my room to write has given me time to think. In away, Daevri’s words spurred inspiration. I’m angry with him still, but was it wrong for me to have enjoyed Achmath once more? I might have hurt Kimaris, but I hadn’t known. Yet that also brought something important to mind. My former boyfriend is mortal. I’ve never felt so detached from him as I do now. Achmath’s parting words are nothing more than haunting, “I’ll be waiting once you’re ready to come home.”
That’s what I so desperately want: home! But no longer is my future to be painted with Achmath. I can only hope he will give me up too.


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Achmath Eloirakn
132 Locturn Lane, District 2
Lythmeir, Taek-Torpaq


Dear Achmath,


I must apologize for the contents of this letter, but I must beg of you to forget about me. I fear I’ve been called to a higher purpose in which I doubt I will be able to pull away from it. If I had a choice, I would abandon it, forsake it, however circumstances suggest otherwise. Might you forgive me one day. Until then, I wish you all the best. May you find happiness once more for you, of all people, deserve it.


~Malaney

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9/13/2997: Those We Call Friends and Family

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Rucejk La’Dhroo ab Jujnis, 2997


Mother invited me! She invited me to dinner! My heart's still racing at the thought! See, breakfast came with a note on it and as I read it, I sat down, surprised by the invitation. Kimaris didn’t stay long enough to inquire about it, he downing his food and zipping out the door (he’s in rather a good mood).
I then heard Bordel stir and wake. I was mildly embarrassed to be in the room alone with him, still I asked how he was. It took a moment for him to gather himself in his haze. He then mentioned that he was fine and was merely feeling his age. I gave a nervous smile and toyed the note in my hand.
“Mother has invited me to dinner tonight,” I informed him. Bordel looked surprised, maybe impressed, by my news. I then asked if he would come with. If anything, he’d be able to enjoy a good meal. He did question whether it would be wise for him to join after the words he parted with upon Laeni. I nervously chuckled reminding him that he couldn’t have caused no greater offence than I had upon renouncing my faith.
With that, Bordel agreed. Part of me dreads having him come, but at the same time, I’m really happy that he accepted my invite.


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Well, the dinner was successful I suppose. Bordel and I gathered enough details from it, but I also walked away with a lot of anger.
Fern and I first went out to buy provisions. Knowing the standards of my home, my simple dress would not suit for the evening. Let alone I felt obligated to present gifts since my mother was humoring us and I would likely be seeing all of my brothers and sisters.
Oh! While we were out at the market, I saw Kimaris with Aragoth! The boy looked so happy. I mean, compared to the night before, it was rather endearing to see him carefree. Part of me even had an appreciation for the Dragonborn’s care.
When it came time to go, I had thought Kimaris and Aragoth would have tagged along, but they had eaten too much at the market. Fern and I waited a little longer for Bordel to return, but it came to the point in which if we lingered further, we would be treading on lateness.
I was rather disappointed at first. I truly thought Bordel had stood me up, but I didn’t let it deter me. I was going to see those journals with or without him! In the end it certainly paid off that I didn’t let my mood be soured by the man.
Bordel had been summoned to do some kind of investigative work on a case the town had. He being a former executioner, a Cleric for the death domain, I figured he got caught up in his work. It certainly was a lovely surprise when I found him coming up the lane as Fern and I approached the gates. I dare say he was dashing. His face was clean shaven aside from the well groomed mustache. I was impressed by his tailored suit and cane too. It was very fitting for the dinner party and I felt whatever undignified display he gave earlier would soon be forgotten by my mother.
He looks younger too. Like... late thirties maybe? Certainly not the middle aged man I first met a week ago.
Once in, I lead the way into the sitting room. It was a queer feeling to see my family all there. They looked very much the same, though nearly three years older. I dropped into a low curtsy and waited for my mother’s acknowledgement to rise. I presented my gifts and was surprised by the exchange of their own to me.
I was given a wooden harp, a glass statue of a dolphin, a classic music box (with a ballerina figurine), a book of fairytales, and a teddy bear (of which I have half the mind to tease Fernwood with, considering the well yesterday).
I do loathe the gifts... As lovely as they are, full of sentiments from childhood, I’ve caused enough grief on the family that I didn’t deserve such a welcome. Still, I played my part as a gracious receiver.
Dinner came and went, though with it’s minor kinks. Baiden offered Fernwood a job in town. The Halfling’s eyes lit up and she inquired about how it’d operate since she wasn’t sure if she was ready to stay put (what a lie that was). However, as they went on to discuss the matter of her hiring a shopkeep, Launi inquired about Bordel. My younger sister then had the audacity to whisper in my ear that he seemed my type! I can only hope my blush didn’t go noticed. I seethed at her that the Cleric was merely my boss.
Heavens, that statement was made irrelevant after retiring to the Library. Mother eventually approached me and stated that I was welcome to go see the journals. I thanked her and in my euphoria felt dizzy. Two hands then rested upon my shoulders, bracing me, and giving a gentle squeeze. It was Bordel! And on top of that, I was reminded of the terrible itch my feathers were becoming.
Launi linked her arm in mine to escort me to the Library, giving me a look that would suggest she was right about my crush. I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes. I’d be lying if I said that gesture in the Library wasn’t a hopeful note in my mind, but I’d be a fool. I haven’t done anything extraordinary to warrant his affection.
We made quick work scouring through the journals. Together our eyes covered the pages five months back and we gleaned a few details:
-A merchant rumored that there’s a treasure in a volcano on Mythus island. My father is certain it’s a clue to another cup.
-Theedain had obtained a cup of his own, but after I examined the room for auras, it was clear there was nothing magical present.
-My father met a woman, named Lirena, on the island Ankmon, three months before he died.
Bordel and I were disappointed by the lack of information. Nothing was concrete, just more ifs and maybes and names. Then again, what had I to lose on these wild goose chases? It’s not like I have anything better to do as a Primordial- other than maintaining ‘balance’.
We did decide that we would investigate the docks for anyone who might have heard of the volcano on Mythus as well as check into the dealings of Remus Trophe. My father noted the argument he had with our Lordship, though what about I can’t be certain. My mind jumped to the conclusion that it had everything to do with the cup he found (perhaps the Order of the Empty Cups has been well established in my clan), but then again, my father clearly was embezzling money. It was disheartening to read, but it was evidence enough for my mother. His own greed had prevented him from Exaltation.
Here’s what Laeni had to say after reading that section of the journal: “I suspected your father was up to something... how disappointing.”
She SUSPECTED!!! Yet she blamed me anyways!? Three years of being the black sheep and she had suspected all along!
I plastered a smile to my face as she said it was good to see me again and how she hopes for future visits. I doubt I will ever come back. Correspondences, yes, but to be in her presence... never again if I can help it.
To add to that, upon returning to the Library, Fern spoke to us and said she would be taking up shop, meaning she was no longer going to travel with us. It was particularly troubling because Oda had left this morning to go to his home. With Bahamut’s words in my ears about safety in numbers, I couldn’t help but feel lost. For a  moment, I thought that we as the five Primordials could be family... now there is just the three of us.
Bordel certainly was in a better mood than myself as we walked home alone. And upon entering my room, the two of us were met by Kimaris, Aragoth, and some other Human, named Daevri. There was also a huge amount of goods in the form of armor and weapons. Right quick it was made known that Aragoth had stolen them under the persuasion of the Human. Not wanting to get involve with it, I excused myself stating, “My corset’s too tight to deal with this.”
After stripping down to my dressing gown and washing my face, I returned to my room. Upon entering, I found Daevri climbing up Bordel! He was a nimble lad to say the least as the Cleric attempted to stop him. After perching on his left shoulder, the Human tried reasoning with Bordel about the goods, but was swiftly pushed off. The Cleric certainly wasn’t in a good mood any more with the shenanigans the other’s pulled tonight.
Soon all left the room, leaving me alone with the ‘borrowed’ items. Fearful of being blamed, I snatched a pillow, blanket, and my journal before walking across the hall to Fernwood’s room. I had hoped she would have returned by then, but even after five minutes of waiting, no one answered the door.
I then went and knocked on Bordel’s room. It was rude of me to impose on his privacy for the night, but he was kind to let me in. He even gave me the bed. I did remind him I wasn’t a stranger to the floor, I hadn’t slept in a nice bed in a long time. Still he insisted.
With all that had happened tonight, as well as feeling like I was infringing on Bordel’s kindness, I remembered my worry about Fern and Oda. I asked what we would do now that they have decided to go their own ways. The Cleric just shook his head and said, “If you had the chance to go home, wouldn’t you?” I scoffed. “Besides. Fernwood never really seemed much of the adventurer-”
“She’s more of an adventurer than myself!” I cut in. She had more of a mind to this sort of life than I do.
“True, but quite often there’s more than meets the eye. I believe there’s more to you.” Bordel then bid me good night and rolled over.
His optimism is comforting, but what if he or Kimaris is the next to leave? What if I find myself on my own? Heavens. You’d think being a Primordial would have it’s perks... like not fearing about being alone.


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9/12/2997: Uncertainty at Its Best pt. 2

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I managed to irk Bordel yet again. I wish it didn’t bother me so. Sure he’s not my boss, yet I hate that I feel like I’m failing him. It’s rather disconcerting. And it all happened after we managed to get in to see my mother (despite my plans getting distorted).
First, in the morning, Kimaris was nothing more than a pre-adolescent boy. Only time will tell if tomorrow he’s younger. Might we have an infant on our hands? But I won’t continue on that. With Kimaris too young to pull off a young prince to the guards, we had Bordel take the lead, Oda giving him a disguise. Yesterday, the folk seemed to be quite drawn to his fine armor he had received from Bahamut. Let alone his deity’s symbols was a huge stand out among this Heironious groveling town.
Bordel ended up picking up the role of being sent on behalf of Lord Remus. Kimaris and I were his help of sorts. Then suddenly, as I’m explaining that the facade we were putting on was to help me get in unnoticed, Oda- well, his bird, began to state that I ought to be disguised. My indignation went unnoticed as a mustache was slapped on my face, Fern climbing on the bed to fix my hair into a messy man bun.
It wasn’t my intention to deceive my mother. I wanted to address her plainly as myself, but if anyone saw it was me, coming for her, she would have denied my entry. Let alone, stealing the journals would be cruel, though not impossible. But like I said, my protest and reasoning was ignored. So I pressed it no further.
On the way out of the Inn, we had a Copper Dragonborn stop us. He was... direct, seeming to know us and on errand for his God. I was too impatient to get my meeting with my mother over with that I insisted that we all kept moving. Fern was already on her way under the guise of a renovator via my brother, Baiden. I didn’t want her there too long without us, so Bordel offered the Dragonborn, Aragoth, to come along. I almost was reluctant about the invitation, but I held my tongue as I realized the ease in which I could hide behind the man.
Soon the four of us, and Fern (she was fixing one of the tapestries in the Library), were standing before my mother, Laeni Belrue. Bordel did well in addressing her, but as he began to walk away with her, I couldn’t keep my tongue quiet. I had to be up front and honest with her.
“Mother,” I called out. My eyes were hard set on her as I felt everyone else’s lock on me. I pulled the disguise from my face and let my hair down. I must have looked ghastly in the men's fashion, and it did little to my nerves to be in such deceptive clothes.
As I predicted, my mother was livid to have me in her presents. She asked the four of us gathered (Fern ‘not’ having any part with our gathering) to leave. I insisted that we would go after retrieving my father’s journals.
“You dare return and ask for his journals!?” she shrieked, “I will not let you defile his memory!”
I attempted to explain that a third party might have been involved in Theedain’s death, of which we may find out if we were allowed to read the journals. Laeni then went on to assume I had chosen a life of murder! “So that’s the life you’ve chosen,” her conceited voice rang. She even dared to bring Heironious into it, reminding me that He was watching. Hating how inferior she was trying to make me, I held my head high and asked if she knew of the Primordials. Of course she didn’t and so I declared, “It is who we are and if you only know the holy stature we bear you would tremble with the lack of respect you’ve given us!”
With that, my mother insisted we leave at once. In defense of my party, hoping that maybe they’d be able to better persuade Laeni in my absence, I dismissed myself.
For a moment, I thought Bordel sympathized with me. He called my mother out for being ‘righteous’. I had stopped to listen, but dared not look. He defended my name that Laeni tried to slander. Bordel then asked once more for the journals. Of course he was denied. He then placed upon my mother’s shoulders any and all responsibility for the deaths that come as a result of her refusal. If the journals contain any evidence, any name, to what could be my father’s murderers, her withholding them from us would put the blood on her hands.
I almost thought Bordel’s words would have done it, would have broken the stiff pride Laeni was all too well known for by her bitter enemies, but alas she reminded us to leave.
Kimaris did attempt to make a dash for the office. I had mentioned to the group where they were as we plotted our options to obtaining the books. I tried to tell him to stop, but the boy ignored me. I wasn’t terribly worried. A few minutes later the guards escorted the young boy out as I predicted.
The walk back was met with many surprised voices, all wanting an explanation of what I had done. I reminded them that it wasn’t my intention from the start to steal the journals. The goal was to get me in. Bordel in a huff asked what we were to do now. I simply replied that we’d go to the Head Priest. He’s likely to know of the Primordials and if there was anyone my mother would honor, it would be him. His word might as well be that of Heironious Himself.
Back at the Inn it was even more clear how angry Bordel was with me. We all regrouped, waiting for service at the church to draw nigh, and ate dinner. Fern asked why the Dragonborn was with us. To this, the Human in a bitter voice replied, “Why not Malaney explain since she likes to run off with her mouth?”
I looked at Bordel and was suddenly embarrassed. I hadn’t meant to offend. And suddenly, I felt very unsure of myself. Certainly he feels I blew any chance of us getting the journals, and he’s quite possibly right. Kimaris was sweet and tried to cheer me up, using a similar line to what I told him yesterday, “We all make mistakes.”
When the time came for the church service, I was less than enthusiastic to go. I couldn’t guarantee its success, but it was the only other honest means I could fathom to obtain the books.
Kimaris and Fern ended up coming with me. Bordel would have, but was caught up by some guards. It would seem the man was an executioner before his time with us. It makes sense considering he worships- or honors the God of Death. I certainly wasn’t going to insist on him staying with.
The service was a reminder of how much I use to waste my breath. I managed to keep my words to myself. The hour passed and it then was time for confessionals. When my turn came, the Priest was pleasantly surprised. Thankfully he seemed to take my mention of being a Primordial to heart. He said he’d pray about it, and if I was lying, I’d have even more to repent of. I gave a cordial smile and bid him a good night.
I can only hope I persuaded him enough. I would have shown him the feather buds growing in, but then again, I don’t know if that has anything to do with my supremeness.


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Oh goodness. I haven’t a clue what’s wrong with Bordel. He just passed out on the bed... good thing I’m all set up on the floor as it is. Something got him in quite a huff. Whatever it was, I hope it’s nothing serious.


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Wednesday, January 20, 2016

9/12/2997: Uncertainty at Its Best pt. 1


Halejk La’Dwa ab Jujnis, 2997


I woke up in the middle of the night to Kimaris in a full fit. Heavens... the boy’s exhibit of raw emotion was like looking at my own soul crying out.
It was rather confusing at first. I had to wonder if I had woken from a bad dream as the muffled sounds of crying registered. I sat up and looked toward the bed. Through the haze of sleep I realized it was the source of the sound.
“Kimaris?” I asked as I approached. When he didn’t respond, I gently placed a hand on his trembling back and asked what’s wrong. Oh the poor boy wailed out his confusion asking, “Why is this happening to me?”
I sat down, trying to sooth him. The thing is, I haven’t a clue what’s happening to any of us. I can feel bumps along my shoulders that are itching more and more. The worst part, I’ve seen pieces of feathers on the tips of my fingers and can only assume I’m becoming a bird! Now add that with Kimaris who keeps getting younger- and Bordel too now that I think about it, and I’m having to wonder if this has something to do with our Primordialness. But, I have yet to see any change in Fernwood and Oda.
In time I laid down next to Kimaris, searching for a hand to hold. I told him I was scared too, or at least, that I had felt that same kind of fear and uncertainty. Suddenly the boy turned toward me and buried himself into my chest. I worried about someone walking in, but remembering the door was locked and that all I was doing was comforting Kimaris in what was his time of need, I relaxed my arms about him.
We talked a moment longer, he reminding me about how scared he was. The crying continued and so I hummed to him a lullaby- the very one I use to sing to Araja and Sokrin. I’m not sure who fell asleep first, but when I woke this morning, I quickly slipped out of bed. I can only hope Kimaris will be in better spirits today.


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9/11/2997: On the Road to Ruebis


Ojtejk La’Dwa ab Jujnis, 2997


Another curious day to recall. First it started with waking to Kimaris helping with breakfast. In the times I’ve traveled with him, never has he so much as lifted a finger to help with camp. I watched him as he and Fern worked together over the fire. As I brushed my hair, I noticed the boy walk over to Bordel and converse for a bit. His face was rather solemn, if not serious.
Once I was properly dressed, I joined the lot around the fire. That was when Kimaris presented me a bouquet of daisies. More surprisingly, he said sorry. That was something I thought he’d never say, I having accepted his interest in teaching me to fight as his apology. I’m not sure if I’m being a fool by believing his sincerity, but there was something about his eyes, and the fact he was acting very different than usual, that convinced me to give him a chance.
Though breakfast was less than satisfactory, it wasn’t the worst meal I’ve eaten. Soon we were well on our way toward Ruebis. While we walked, I explained what my plan was for retrieving the journals. The bottom line was getting me into my mother’s home without being caught. Doing so would involve Kimaris presenting himself as a noble in his rich dress. The boy, who I thought would have taken serious pride in being the center of attention, mentioned he’d rather find a new outfit, for the current was too grand for him.
Again, I was very surprised by the change of heart I was seeing, but I encouraged him to enjoy the outfit long enough to get me into my mother’s home. Bordel would play the part as his guard, Fern and I as his handmaids, and Oda as the scout. The Halfling had some objection to being a handmaid, she not looking the part, but I told her the idea mainly is to present ourselves as workers for Kimaris.
“But, what am I even to say?” the boy asked.
“Let alone, do you really think we’d be able to convince anyone with your plan?” Bordel questioned.
I explained that all we’d need to do is have Kimaris simply state that he had come on behalf of Lord Remus Trophe to discuss matters of trade with Lady Belrue. They were quite skeptical, but I assured them that quite often people were coming and going on matters of trade with my family. My father was responsible for the treasuries and with that came the overseeing of commerce.
As we discussed, Oda pointed out smoke in the distance. Kimaris, with Fern’s bird, went off to investigate. I was impressed how fast the boy could run. About ten minutes later, Fern informed us we needed to go check the place out. It sounded to have been a raided settlement.
When we arrived, the small village certainly was in disarray. Bordel went to find Kimaris while I followed Fern to the well. Her bird was concerned by it, and good reason, though I wish we hadn’t investigated it.
Once the Halfling and I drew close to the well, a toy bear began to call out to us, asking for it’s mommy. Actually, it was addressing Fern specifically. The voice became more urgent as she mentioned how cold and wet she was.
“Daddy put me in the well. Where’s my mommy?” the teddy bear lamented. I had barely begun to think about searching the well when Kimaris disappeared over the edge. I called after him and a moment later, as all of us (including Bordel) leaned over to see, heard the boy announce he had the girl.
Quickly we got Kimaris out. He laid the bluish girl on the ground and suddenly I had to stop. I went to touch her cold face when my mind was flooded with the injustice that she wasn’t Exalted and the fact that she appeared to be around Araja’s age. Rapidly I walked away, walking toward the house to brace myself. I had hoped the others would have left me be, but Kimaris was next to me asking what was wrong.
“The little girl reminded me of someone. A painful memory to recall.”
His response: "I understand."
Kimaris then left me alone.
I had regained my nerves by the time the others had finished dealing with the possessed teddy bear and burying the girl. I was more than ready to go, my home town not seeming as daunting after that. Yet approaching the gates proved long enough to get my nerves going again. Thankfully Kimaris stated the intent of our stay as planned and we were allowed entrance without further squabble.
As we walked along, Fernwood insisted a stop at the money exchanger. Unfortunately my older brother happened to be heading in. I barely managed to jump behind Bordel and Kimaris to evade him. As we waited on Fern, I explained to the men why I jumped so.
The Halfling returned shortly, pointing out she met with my relation. I not caring, other than getting off the streets, then directed the group to the Boar’s Head Inn. It wasn’t as fine as the Golden Swan, but people would have recognized me there. Plus we couldn’t pull off our story of being a noble party if we stayed in anything less than the finer Inns.
Bordel got Kimaris and myself a room, I being his handmaiden, which I will admit put a blush in my cheeks. But I wasn’t afraid either. The whole morning Kimaris has been so different. It’s hard to believe it was only yesterday he had hurt me so.
Fernwood and Oda got a room together, breaking the group up so as to draw less attention to ourselves, but I have yet to see them. So far it’s been just me and Kimaris in our room. I am trying very hard not to take it in too much. The warm room, chairs to sit in, and soon lunch to be on it’s way, all fond reminders of my past life.
Something else to note about Kimaris, he’s younger... As Bordel left us in the room to go settle himself in next door and fetch our afternoon meal, I tried making small talk with Kimaris, but he was already in a corner pouting. I asked what was wrong and he mentioned feeling ashamed.
I was taken aback at the remorse he had. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I felt something. And so I patted his shoulder, telling him that we all make mistakes. He looked me in the eyes and, who I thought was my age, looked much younger. A sting of disappointment that I was developing feelings for a young boy shot through me. I can only hope my smile didn’t falter.
Then again... isn’t Kimaris suppose to be older than me? Even if that were so, I don’t think it wise to think of him any more than a friend. Maybe a brother... it’s all rather confusing...
Well, to show I held no ill feelings toward him, I found a cup of water and placed the daisies Kimaris gave me that morning in it. It was quite thoughtful of him to even consider such a peace offering.



Tuesday, January 19, 2016

9/10/2997: Great Bouts of Change pt. 5

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I managed the impossible! I punched Kimaris in the nose! Granted I feel bad in spite of myself, but I’m reveling in the fact that I had the strength enough to inflict such a strike! Alas, I shouldn’t, but there really is something to favor in triumph.
Kimaris had his back to me when I approached. He wore a richly made tunic about his form. It was gaudy, yet more becoming of him over his nakedness. I took a deep breath and dived in.
“Hey,” I called out. Kimaris shifted his weight to look at me. He lifted his eyebrows, silently asking what I wanted. An exasperated sigh escaped my lips. “Look Kimaris, you and I clearly got off on the wrong foot. Most certainly I'm a thorn in your side as you are in mine,” I told him. My companion nodded, seeming impatient. I began to feel unsure of what I was doing and so rushed on by proposing a truce.
“How do you expect this ‘truce’ to work?” Kimaris questioned. And so I listed off the two options:
  1. He could leave me be- meaning no touching, talking, or referring to me in front of or behind my back.
He didn’t look to like the first as I explained it. Or,
  1. He teaches me how to defend myself.
Kimaris’s head snapped up to look at me. I’m sure he was gauging my seriousness to which I added, “Think about it. You’ll get to enjoy knocking me around some more and I hopefully will get a few punches in myself.”
The latter felt lame and I thought Kimaris would have jumped at the opportunity, but instead he asked, “Why?”
So I confessed to him, “Because I need to be able to protect myself. I’m tired of being so pathetic and fighting against you certainly isn’t making it any better.” The sting my pride took was manageable. I don’t like that I agreed with Kimaris about my uselessness. I had then braced myself for the gloating, but instead, my companion got to his feet and said, “Hit me.”
“Now?” I questioned. He confirmed, instructing me again to hit him, tapping his nose as the target. I almost refused, but remembered I needed to be serious. The boy was giving me a chance. With fists clenched and positioned in front of me, I let my right hand jab out. It hit him squarely on the cheek, the impact surprising me some.
“Sorry,” I automatically said.
“Is that really all you got?” Kimaris asked. It shocked me to no end that my strike wasn't hard enough, so I doubted his words at first. He insisted that I strike harder, adding, “I’ve done plenty to make you angry, so hit me!”
“Just because you’ve made me angry doesn’t mean that I should make it physical,” I minded him. The boy then pushed my shoulder with the tips of his fingers. I rubbed the spot, which turned to an itch on the backside of my shoulder. Kimaris pushed me again to which I pushed back asking him what his problem was.
“Hit me!” he demanded. It then clicked. We were sparring! So quickly I brought my fist up and sent another punch to his cheek. Like the first, it did little to appease my companion. After each punch he’d shout, “Harder!” After the fifth time repeating his request, I let out a frustrated cry of my own and hit his nose. I had only meant to hit him hard enough to shut him up, and not only did I manage that, but a crack rippled under my fist.
Immediately I apologized as the blood began to trickle down his face. I went to heal him, but Kimaris refused me. Instead he smiled his coy grin I was becoming all too familiar with and said, “I knew you had it in you.”
That statement alone is enough to baffle me. It was that softness again that seemed contrary to my companion’s nature. But it didn’t stop at that line. Kimaris then helped me grasp my potential:
“Why not put that kind of strength forward when you’re fighting- or rather when we were fighting those skeletons the last few days?”
“Because I’m not a fighter.”
“You should be. You can’t expect to never fend for yourself.”
“I understand that, hence why I want to learn how to defend myself.”
“Is that all you’ll use it for?”
“Of course. I’m not going to go around and pick fights just because I can.”
“But understand that even in defending you may have to choose to take a life.”
“I will not!” I was truly surprised by such a bold statement. Kimaris, however, was quite serious.
“What about those who murdered your father? Wouldn’t you like to see them killed?”
“It matters not what I want. If we find them, we’ll take them to the Paladins and use the evidence to convict them.”
“Alright. But what if there is no evidence- or worse yet, they get off scot free anyways. Wouldn’t you want to bring your justice upon them?”
It really bothered me that he was trying to get me to condone murder, and so I tried to remind him of our mortality by firmly saying, “I have no right to decide who dies! That responsibility lies with the Gods!”
The moment I said ‘Gods,’ my voice faltered as a wave of understanding washed over me. It’s hard to describe, but one moment I was very much in denial that I was a Primordial, but suddenly, I am. I always have been, I just lack the memories.
Kimaris noticed my second epiphany and leaned in close to me, saying, “Now you get it? We’re greater than the Gods!”
I pursed my lips. In that moment we were very much not greater than the Gods. In time, we will be, but in that moment I couldn’t agree. Let alone, at the same time, Bordel had returned, expressing his disapproval to such a notion.
Fern and Oda arrived shortly thereafter as I cleaned Kimaris up. We enjoyed a meal of venison and I entertained a moment with my lyre. While sitting around the fire I learned that Oda was from these parts, though it’s been decades since he’s returned. I envied him that he was able to enjoy such comfort of being home. Dread is what laces my veins.
I say, this whole day has been one for the eternities. The dynamics of our party, especially between me and Kimaris, has been tried relentlessly. How is it possible that the ire I felt toward the boy has suddenly been resolved, or at least for the night? It just doesn’t seem possible.
I’m also concerned about what ill opinion I might have gained with Bordel. I suppose much can’t be helped with that other than to move forward.