Chapter 5: The Manifestation of Van

Chapter 5 The Manifestation of Van

Once more Sin did not stay. By morning I could hear Alysin’s mind dreaming away with her usual optimism and fears. At the time, I wasn’t sure whether to assume a good night sleep was what let Alysin regain control, but I had a hunch and felt somewhat at ease knowing Alysin may never truly be gone.

That next morning Alysin tended more to the gash on her elbow. As she cared for it, she also took a moment to work on changing the bandage on her hand. Interestingly enough, her hand was perfectly healed. She marveled at the new skin, no sign of a burn anywhere to be seen. She hadn’t pondered long when she remembered the sorcerer purposely shaking her bandaged hand.

With that revelation, Alysin wondered if she could produce that same sort of magic. Then began the 3 days of experimenting. She even tried focusing on me once she realized my lack of interest in hunting. There was little success... well at least if there was it was so minimal that by day three of her attempts during her downtime, both our wounds were significantly better. Minor pain lingered for a few more days for her and about another week for me.

Despite the less than successful healing attempts, it didn’t stop her from trying. Every time her father or step-mother hurt her she would take that as an opportunity to try, well that is when Sin didn’t manifest. Only when the pain was too intense did she come. And boy was her personality exhausting. Sin was insistent on being miserable and let alone strived to make those around her miserable too.  Thankfully every morning Alysin did come back.

Unfortunately after the incident on Alysin’s 8th birthday, Othello has distanced himself from his sister. Sin was right about how Davin apologized to his son, but threatened his boy he’d kick him out of the house half dead if he caught him treating her any better than what she was, a murderer. Once more the choice between her or his father proved too difficult for him. He began to avoid Alysin, not wanting to endure his father’s wrath nor her longing and lonely eyes.

This greatly affected Alysin.I wanted to hate him. Just days before Othello mentioned how his grandmother had told him he was the best thing for her. Now here he was failing Alysin in every way.

Before I knew it, adolescence was on the horizon. At age 10 I could hear in her head, ‘if only I was more like a boy, maybe father would see me as someone stronger and not so weak.” I would do my best to reason with her that such a thing was silly, that nothing was wrong with who she was. But my advice unfortunately wasn’t being heard.

I began to teach her to hunt. She insisted that that would be a useful skill for her to learn any how. Compared to the first time I had gone hunting with her before becoming her familiar, she was worlds better. She could understand my thoughts in what to do and how to do it. We were united in every step, in every breath, and every thought.

2 more years pass of us hunting and Alysin trying to emulate her brother. She was quite good at using her invisibility to stake out a spot and wait for the game to come to us. She got particularly good at throwing knives, though all she had to use was the ones she was able to take from the kitchen unnoticed.

She actually began to learn how to levitate items when she began to find Mayrid in the kitchen more and more (she most likely suspected Alysin to be running off with them). Alysin would clean some dishes and try to have polite conversation with Mayrid who would watch her closely. If only she was paying attention to the knives behind her that were being levitated into the other room.

Despite how well we could hunt together, hunger was still ever prominent. Fewer and fewer meals are eaten at the table with the family and all the food was carefully portioned out and marked so Davin could make sure no one was sneaking any extra helpings. I would have thought the whole family was destitute to starvation, but it was clearly a way for Davin to try and starve his daughter.

It was the fall of Alysin’s 14th year. I woke up to the pale morning light and noticed Alysin putting on a completely new outfit. It was old clothes Othello use to wear when he was 11 or so. Apparently  Alysin had hid them many years back, thinking she could experiment with them to make a new dress. However it would seem her experiments have taken a new meaning.

Why are you wearing that? I asked. Alysin glanced my way and smiled.

You like it? I feel more confident in this, she replied as she finished buttoning the vest, Just think how much more silently and faster I’ll be able to maneuver, how much warmer I’ll be too, while we go hunting! I stretched on the bed before going over to her leg and rubbing my scent on the new outfit.

You still smell like a girl you know?

I know I’m a girl still, silly, but I also feel like I might be taken more seriously trying to be a boy. Maybe I should cut my hair?

I felt my hair raise on my back at the thought. Alysin laughed and assured me she had no intentions of cutting it.

Alysin, I began, trying to be more serious, why must you try to be a boy?

You know Jiji, Alysin responded coolly. I sat down looking up at her. My how she’s grown. He must be over 5 feet tall. Her hair was half way down her back, dark brown and as curly as ever. It was nice seeing her in something newer than the old dress she’s had forever.

It just doesn’t seem like you. Keep the clothes, but remember who you are, I said.

I know who I am Jiji, Alysin chuckled back. Yet her thoughts and eyes could hide the slight amount of doubt she held inside as to how her appearance would be received though her intentions were good, All this could quite possibly change is my Dad’s view on me. I think I look stronger, less vulnerable. I’m tired of being thought less of and made fun of for who I am. I just need my outward appearance to make a stronger statement.

You are strong. Don’t forget that, I reminded her. And I was being honest. She was tough. She had years and years of toughening up. I don’t understand why her father is such a weak spot in her psyche though. She still desired his love and acceptance of her.

Alysin finished tucking in her shirt, pulled her hair around her shoulders then looked at me to make sure I was still invisible. I jumped onto her shoulders and we both went down stairs.

Alysin started to prepare breakfast she knew she wouldn’t eat. Pretty soon Mayrid came to join her, first checking to make sure no extra food, besides what was being used to make breakfast, was missing. Alysin, in her usual happy personality, said good morning to her stepmother. Mayrid barely mumbled back the same.

The woman has aged over the recent 5 years greatly. Gray hair has tarnished her deep brown locks. She has thinned surprisingly, her cheekbones looking more rigid. She looked like the bitter woman she was versus the seductive woman Jiji saw when he had first met her. If anything, I pitied Mayrid for she trusted a man who still hasn’t stopped mourning 13 years later.

Othello and Davin came into the room. One would have thought Davin was in a good mood today with how he talked to his boy, but one glance at Alysin sent a chill through the room. Othello tensed at the sight of his sister. He truly filled out. Being 18 now, he helps out at the butcher shop in town.  He, too, is a decent hunter with a fine crafted bow and arrows. But despite Othello’s manly appearance, the little boy who was too scared to protect his sister was ever evident in his eyes.

“Where are your clothes Alysin?” Davin asked.

“I’m wearing them,” Alysin responded. Her father shook his head.

“No, those are Othello’s old clothes. Go put your dress on like a good girl.”

“Why does it matter that I wear a dress?” Davin’s jaw tightened and he leaned in threateningly.

“Because I expect my daughter to dress decently and not like a fool in the other gender’s outfits,” he hissed. This was actually stereotypical opinion of his. A way to oppress his daughter.

“I thought you might like me looking more confident and strong.”

Davin looked at her and laughed. A rush of embarrassment swept over Alysin. Her father continued to laugh and soon I could hear her thoughts wishing she hadn’t had the crazy idea to put on her brother’s old clothes.

“Fine, I’ll go change,” Alysin said defeatedly. Davin looks back at her through his grin.

“Oh no. If you’re so confident to talk to me in such a way, then lets go to town then shall we? Lets parade my cross dressing daughter!” Davin exclaimed to the family. His eyes were menacing. I hadn’t known there could be another layer to embarrassment, but the mention of being paraded around, knowing it was only to shame her, sent another wave  of embarrassment over her.

Then I recognized a shift happen. I jumped off her shoulder to assess her well being. I looked bewildered at Alysin wondering how it was Sin was able to take over. Then again... I couldn’t hear the cries of pain in her head, not even the pains of embarrassment. Infact, her mind had become completely cool- no, confident! And determined... like suddenly it was a contest to prove to her father that she was worth his love and not to be made a fool.

“Yes father, let us go to town. I would love to see everyone since it’s been so long,” I very confident voice echoed out of her, she putting emphasis on ‘so,’ “Suppose they’d fancy to see this bruise right here on my right arm? Or how about I tell the story of the scar under my jaw?”not to mention her very thin frame and a few other bruises in various stages of healing.

This definitely wasn’t Sin. This person was too confident and bold to be her. By now, Davin’s jaw had tightened again and his fists were balled up.

“Don’t you dare make a fool of me Yrid, for that will be the last thing you ever do!” Davin snarled. He attempted to make a move at Alysin as well but Alysin decided to demonstrate her knife skills by sending a knife into the sleeve of her father’s shirt and pinning it to the cutting board she was working at. Davin with a good jerk ripped his sleeve from the knife’s hold, but Alysin had another quickly in hand, holding it, ready to throw.

“I’m not a little girl anymore father,” Alysin said. She noted her father’s shocked gaze, “Would you like to see another magic trick?”

“You little witch!”

“I believe the term for me is sorcerer,” Davin’s eyes filled with alarm. Even he knew what a sorcerer was capable of doing. Alysin sensed his fear, “Don’t worry father. Unlike what you think of me, I’m not a murderer. I just want you to know you don’t own me. You never have, you never will,” then Alysin had a wicked, I mean, brilliant idea. An idea I’ve mused about ever since she was able to cook my hunts. With a smile across her face she stated, “In fact father... good bye.”

Alysin went invisible causing Mayrid to shriek in surprise and Davin to scrambling for the knife in the cutting board. He threw it blindly only to hit the wall since Alysin had already made it to the door. I quickly caught up and leaped up her back to my usual perch on her shoulders.

The day was still very young, maybe mid morning. Davin was out the front door cursing his daughter’s name and threatening her to come back. For once though, Alysin didn’t have any feeling of regret. She was determined to leave. She knew she had the skills to survive and she was out to find a new home in which she would be welcomed in.

So, where to Alysin? I asked.
Why Lomisc Jiji. I think performing sounds like a lot of fun, she informed me. I looked forward to this next segment of life. For once, maybe we could feel safe and not have to hide so much. To be admired and welcomed. I mused on this while we walked, but not before she said, Oh, and the name’s Van.