Kæjk La’Sux ab Jujnis, 2997
Last night’s dream was vivid once more. I had barely finished talking with Kimaris when I woke up to a scene that was vastly different from anything I would have expected. I was in a crowd of folk, all looking to their King, who was Kimaris. I, too, was dressed for the fight, which funny enough I was half anticipating. Either the training really is sinking in and I’ll no longer fear a fight or I was truly swept up in the dream.
Kimaris, or King Buru as the the folk referred to him as, was addressing the assembly, preparing them for the battle ahead, instilling courage and trust with every word he spoke. I think that was why I didn’t dread what was approaching..
In the midst of listening and looking on, impressed by his grace and authority, I felt someone tug at my sleeve. My eyes met Kimaris’s stand in, Destiny. She looked very much like a Princess. “Are you ready?” she asked me. I nodded and returned my gaze to our King.
The Primordial then locked eyes with mine, somehow spotting me out in the crowd. He smiled and filled the air with his rich voice as he turned and instructed everyone to attack on the count of three. I gripped my Lyro Blade firmly and began to sprint ahead with the army as three rang out through the air.
One moment the thunder of feet and the shifting of armor filled my ears, but somehow it altered to where I found myself running down a stone corridor. I stopped in my confusion and looked about the dimly lit place. Then an arm brushed against mine and I whipped around to find myself alone with Kimaris. He smiled warmly and spoke something about the war, saying along the lines of, “we should have killed them all right then and there.” He summoned a weapon to his hands and then looked at me, boldly asking, “Are you afraid to die?”
I’m surprised I didn’t fear him. He had just conjured a weapon in hand and want to know if I was afraid! Instead I contemplated and replied, "In a way, yes. Very much. Yet... I know where I'm going after this. I am Balance and therefore know this moment in mortal flesh is temporary. In a way, I’m never going to die. But the pain that comes with it must be what I fear." There was such a calm too. In a way it felt almost like a lie saying that there was some fear.
Kimaris held his gaze firm upon me, an endearing look resting upon his countenance. He sheathed the sword and with one hand resting on the hilt, he used the other to cup my face. “Don’t fear for I will let none harm you.”
The dream then took another sudden turn as Kim informed me that I could visit any memory of my own while in his realm. I thought about visiting my father, but if it was a memory I knew, it wouldn’t reveal anything about whether he was or wasn’t my father. My heart then longed to see Araja and Sorin.
I took Kimaris to the backyard of the Thompson’s home where I use to live before getting caught up with the cups and being a Primordial. It was late evening the night before Araja died. The day was warm, the heat still lingering in the air. My eyes locked on the vision of the two children. They both spotted me and ran, the girl crying, “Malaney!” and her brother, “Ney ney!”
My knees fell to the ground to envelope them into a big hug. The tears poured, Araja questioning them. The love I had- still have- for those kids was overpowering. I had almost forgotten that Kimaris was there. It was Sorin’s look of curiosity that reminded me of my companion.
"You see that man there Sorin?" the boy nodded, "That's my friend."
Kimaris came over and and charmingly greeted the children. The toddler buried his head into my shoulder while Araja stated, “I’m not a lady!” I gave a warning glancing suggesting she was treading on rudeness. “Well... yet,” she added more politely.
In a tone that was gentle, Kim knelt down to her level and replied, “A gentleman should always respect a lady, no matter her age or position." He then flashed his obsidian eyes at me and I remember this great sense of love just emanate through my limbs. It was like seeing a vision of Achmath in a new form before me.
"Are you a Prince?" Araja began to pester.
“A King actually,” I answered for him, “But it is time for you and Sorin to go get ready for dinner.” The little girl gave her best curtsy to Kimaris, bringing up the edges of her dusty dress and crossing her foot back before wobbily lowering herself. She then jumped back on her feet and instructed Sorin to say his goodbyes.
It was hard to watch the two wander back into the house. After some deep breaths, and knowing my companion was waiting to know what the significance of the memory was, I said, "I was there nanny for a few years. Three months ago I had to say good bye."
Kimaris gently placed an arm around me, pulling me into him. I felt stiff and my mind was muddled as Araja and Sorin were replaced by thoughts of how close I was to the Primordial. He mentioned how I was welcome to visit my memories as often as I’d like. I scoffed, stating that that wouldn’t do me well. If allowed, I’d stay frozen in time with Araja.
And just like that, a could wind swept through turning the warm colors into a dreary waste. My heart pounded as I knew what was coming. I don’t understand why I knew it nor why I couldn’t stop it, but as Araja’s death weighed upon my mind, the scene we were in cracked and fell away like broken glass, leaving the two of us in the dim hallway of Araja’s home. I could feel my companion pull me into a hug, my face resting on his chest.
One eye remained fixed upon the image of Sorin standing in the sunlight that pour from Araja’s room. The cry then came, “Malaney! Get help! Araja’s not breathing!” Soon a memory of myself rushed past me and Kimaris, freezing at the sight of Sorin and quickly redirecting him into his room. She then called over her shoulder that Achmath was getting help. Soon Sorin’s door closed and the memory faded to black.
I apologized to Kimaris. I hadn’t meant for anyone to know of that memory and there it was. He saw why I wanted to see Araja again. He continued to hold me, wiping away the tears and asking, “Do you blame yourself?” It was so strange to hear. Of course I don’t blame myself... it just seems unfair that my little friend died without reason.
A finger worked under my chin and tilted my head up right. I described his eyes as obsidian, but really, it was like the universe was gathered together in them. Though his skin was darker than my own, his black eyes stood out because of the flecks of light that flitted about.
He then said, “You don’t have to be sad or alone any more Malaney. I’m here for you.” Kimaris then placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
Part of me hated how much I wanted him. How I loved his care and the way it filled the void that I pretended didn’t exist in me. There was a completeness as I mourned, as though Kimaris was holding me together. Why couldn’t I hold myself together?
Words failed me as to how to thank him. So I reached up and kissed him. I had meant for it to only be a peck, but Kim returned with a kiss of his own.
Who knows how long it lasted, but Kim, in time, leaned his forehead against mine and whispered, “I have waited for that kiss for five lifetimes.” He couldn’t explain why, but ever since we were created, he had waited for me. If that is the truth, I don’t understand how I didn’t see it sooner. How did I not know the depth of his love all this time? Or is there something the vale of mortality has let me forget? Either way, Kimaris has to be the most patient being I know.
“I wish I had known sooner,” I mentioned, as thought I owed him an apology.
“No,” he said, giving me another quick kiss, “this moment has made it all worth it. You’ve made it all worth it. I watched you suffer for so long, and now I have the chance to help make it a little easier.”
The scenery then shifted once more in the euphoria we felt. I smiled brighter as I realized the place. It was mine and Achmath’s meadow.
“Well isn’t this lovely,” Kimaris noted. We ended up laying in the grass and suddenly the weight of sleep was upon me. My head rested on Kimaris as the will to keep awake became harder to resist. But in those moments before falling asleep, I listened to the sound of Kimaris breathing, the birds singing, the river in the distance, and the rustle of leaves.
Then, almost as though it wasn’t me speaking, I heard myself saying, “I love you,” waking to the words dancing off my tongue. I looked about my room, Bubblesnort curled up at the foot of the bed. I threw my head back on my pillow, frustrated by the illusion of reality I had just endured. I mean, it was pleasant. I wish the dream hadn’t ended. But that’s what I hate most about it. It’s all wishful thoughts my subconscious is putting together. I just wish they didn’t feel so real...
Any how, the gong has wrung. 'Tis time for another day of training. The soreness I use to feel has long since passed. I take it to heart as a sign of my improvements as my strength and stamina show greater endurance as Ahmiaus continues to increase the difficulty of my training.
I also feel I should note that I have an unsettled feeling about me. These past few weeks... they've been too structured, too predictable. Just the other night when I was playing music, this feeling crept in as I thought to myself, it's been unusually peaceful. Perhaps I'm just sabotaging myself, but it feels as though something bad is about to happen. If only I could shake the thought from my mind.Next Entry
No comments:
Post a Comment