XVII: Rin

Previous Entry

RIN

“Rin! I died!” Lana announced as she entered the Halfling’s home. Momentarily startled, Rin quickly went to the kitchen and prepared a drink for Lana.

“Lana die? But Lana here with Rin...” he responded, perplexed. Lana plopped into a chair at the table and propped her head on her hand. She quickly regaled him of the news. Of how she had woken that morning in a fit. Once more she had felt the cold molasses like sensation on her face, like she had every day for the past six weeks, and freaked out.

“What the hell is on my face!” she had screamed at Sylis. He bolted upright and confirmed nothing was there. A soft sob came from Lana. She felt like an idiot. She knew nothing was there, but it was the tipping point for she was tired of trying to pretend like everything was alright. And so she confessed to Sylis about all that had been happening (though neglecting to relay the murdering parts to Rin).

“It seems to all have begun after the minotaurs Sylis. I know I was hit hard, but I must have hit my head or something- what Sylis?” Lana asked seeing that the Wizard held a queer look upon his face.

“Lana... that minotaur killed you,” he said. Lana looked back in disbelief.

“And I’m alive how?”

Sylis went on to explain that Rasuvius had used a potion, something called ‘Revive at Any Cost’, on her. The guildmaster had used it before Sylis had any idea what had happened.

“I thought he had stabilized you, but then you began to lick the blood off your fingers and pick up the splinters to eat them. You were a hot mess to say the least. I even tried stopping you, but you attack me for that.

“Then I saw a thick, clear liquid all over your face and suspected Rasuvius had done something more than just render you a health potion,” Sylis explained, “It is that ‘Revive at Any Cost’ that has caused the quirks and your- well, desire to kill, which I think it totally fine! It sounds exciting. Can I come with you on your next kill?”

Lana gaped at Sylis. He had an arm around her, but she felt anything but comfort. Dread weighed upon her. Even the newly acquired quirks that made her do things she normally wouldn’t or forget who she was, was caused by the potion.

“Um, sure..." she began absentmindedly, "but I don’t know when the next one will be..." She then told him she had to go work a shift at Faela’s.

Rin placed a cup of taze in Lana’s hands. She drank deeply, having caught him up on how she died. There was relief in knowing her loss of control wasn’t completely her fault.

“I guess I’m happy I’m still here and all, but Rin... I’m a mess!” Lana continued to vent, “I thought I was losing my mind and would have to go back to Dr. Tomlund! I never want to be trapped again...”

Rin sat next to Lana, placing a hand on her arm and giving her a reassuring smile. “Rin see what Rin can do to help.”

“Help?” Lana replied incredulously, “I’m a damn nut job Rin! It’ll take a bloody miracle to fix this!” Lana laughed. She did so to mask the sorrow in her heart to admit to it. She didn’t want to be crazy, but Lana knew this was something Rin couldn't fix.
The Halfling, however, was his usual optimistic self. His eyes gleamed and with great gusto said, “Rin will make Lana miracle!”

Sylis had said similar words. The Wizard said he’d see if Xara or his Dean knew of a way to fix her condition. Hearing both guys confident that her madness could be fix was inspiring, but Lana knew she was a lost cause. Still, her mind clung to the what if?

The endearing look upon Rin’s face, the absolute determination that brightened his countenance, was enough to fill Lana with gratitude. She reached out and pulled the Halfling into a tight hug. “Stop being so cute,” she whispered.

“Rin just being Rin. Lana trust Rin to fix madness?”

“Of course Rin,” Lana replied, “I trust ya with my life. If ya do manage to find a cure, it’ll just be another reason why I love ya.”

The Halfling pecked Lana on the lips before saying, “Rin not need more reason to love Lana.”

“Really?” Lana said imploringly. Her thoughts flooded with all her flaws, a weight pressing upon her shoulders as she looked at Rin. He was too good, too kind, too selfless. By contrast, Lana was vile.

“Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve ya Rin,” she admitted, “I mean why? Why did ya help me that day I was running from Barut?” A flash of anger swept over Rin’s face, but Lana pressed on, determined to make her point, “I’ve stood ya up and used ya for help. And because of that ya got involved with Barut and for heaven’s sake we’re seeing each other in secret! Rin... I’m doing ya more harm than good.”

Lana and Rin sat together, Lana resting her head on the Halfling’s. His ear was pressed against her chest as he pondered a reply. Was that to be the moment that he finally saw her for what she was? Selfish and unkind? Broken and lost?

“Lana good person here,” Rin finally said, placing a hand on her heart. He sat back up to look Lana in the eyes. “Rin can’t make Lana understand or believe, Lana has to do that on her own. Lana has lost her way, all people do, but Lana will find it. Rin will be at her side when she does.”

“But don’t ya blame me a little for what happened with Barut?” Lana persisted. The anger came back to Rin’s eyes at the dead man’s name.

“Lana not reason for Barut. Barut reason for Barut and he will suffer for all eternity,” Rin said contemptuously. His features then softened as he looked Lana over. He wrapped his arms about her once more, adding, “Lana not deserve Barut. Nor abuse. Nor her view of herself. Lana deserve love! Rin loves Lana very much!”

Tears burned at Lana’s eyes. He didn’t blame her and in spite of all her flaws loved her unconditionally- or stupidly- she’s not entirely sure which, but she was grateful for his devotion.

“Didn’t I tell ya to stop being so cute?” Lana said. Rin beamed up at her.

“Rin not Lana’s servant,” he replied.

Next Entry

XVI: Lana

Previous Entry

LANA

What did you do? What did you DO!?

Lana rocked herself back and forth as the high left. The body on the ground was covered in blood; multiple stab wounds piercing his body. She had completed the job. Lana had found the hit man, but her stomach knotted at her loss of control. She had over killed again- and worse, she loved it every time. The warmth and smell of blood, how it felt on her hands and face. The agony and fear in her target’s eyes. The absolute control she had over them.

Then something would call to her, and this time, it was the young woman who had sought help in the first place. “Are you alright?” she had asked. It was as though she was second guessing Lana for taking care of the man she knew had been hired to kill her.

“Of course I’m alright!” Lana snapped, but as she looked at the twenty something year old, the excitement vanished. The shock and concern etched in the woman’s face formed a pit in her stomach. It was a look Dr. Tomlund would give her when he questioned her sanity.

Lana could feel her hand clenched tightly around her dagger and slowly she returned her gaze to her kill. The once handsome face was unrecognizable.

What did you do!?

After backing away a few paces, Lana glared back at the woman and as though she could feel her judgement upon her said, “I saved you didn’t I? What does it matter?”

The young lady opened her mouth to say something, but stopped herself. She was full of questions and it annoyed Lana. “Aren’t you a little young?” she asked when Lana showed up. “Does it matter if you’re still alive in the end?” Lana retorted. Thankfully the young woman didn’t try to further interrogate Lana and tossed a pouch of coins toward her before leaving.

Lana slumped into a corner. The blood was becoming cold and sticky. The smell began to make her nauseous. Why she continued to stab the man Lana didn’t know. Nor was it the first time she found herself in that state.

When she had killed Barut, it was easy to brush off the torture as revenge for what he had done to her and Rin. She was angry, livid, and hurt. But it didn’t stop. The thought of taking a life began to dance in her dreams, a replay of killing Barut over and over and over again. But then new faces seeped in. The Hags, her father- Kraig, Sylis, Emma, Dr. Tomlund, Jessie, and even Rin. Lana would see herself mad or pitying them and would unleash her daggers and fire upon them.

Everytime, she’d wake in a sweat. Three weeks she endured the increasingly persistent dreams before they leaked into daydreams. It was a week after that when she purposefully cut Sylis during a sparring match in a moment of frustration.

“It’s okay Babygirl,” he had said, though Lana stared numbly at the wound, “You were just a little too exuberant. Good thing you’ve been working with Faela. You can patch this up easily, right?”

The inside of Lana turned to ice. She was glad Sylis didn’t question her behavior, nor her poor bandaging skills. Her mind was a lit trying to figure out what was wrong with her and how she’d weasel out of her lying about Faela.

Still, her new interest in death was enough to make her want to shut down, to give up and act recklessly. She had no more control and every time she tried to, it felt as though she lost more of herself. However, Lana was too scared to admit it. She had done her time at Dr. Tomlund’s Asylum for Young Girls and if she gave up, she’d likely be sent to prison or the adult institution. That was the last thing Lana would ever want again: to be locked up and unable to be her own person.

She looked at the bloody dagger in her hand. There was some hope that resonated in her. Whether it was blind optimism or actual ability, there was something about the situation that gave her hope she’d be able to manage her new addiction. As long as she could continue to keep the murders within the means of her contracts for the guild, Lana would be able to legally kill whenever the urge came and the job was present.

That fact came to her attention when Rasuvius posted a notice to kill a spy. Lana asked if she could take the job and the guild master gave her permission to act solo. Part of her didn’t like the idea of becoming a hit man, the continual war within about if she should or shouldn’t kill, but after completing the job, she felt free. Her nights were dreamless and the days without the constant nag. For the first time in weeks, Lana didn’t notice exposed necks, turned backs, or isolated folks everywhere she walked. Rin’s and Sylis’s heartbeats weren’t tempting whispers that begged to be silenced.

But it never lasted. The temptation came back and before she knew it, she was elbows deep in blood and ecstasy. Then the guilt would wash over her as clarity returned. Guilt for having been so brutal and aggressive. No one deserved torture.

Once more Lana was left feeling sick. There was so much blood all over her so she began to use her magics to clean herself up. As she did that, she began to remind herself that she had rid the world of another evil and was another step closer to being free of her debt. A mental montage that eased the guilt. Once the debt was paid, she would leave the guild and the life of it behind.

Next Entry

XV: Jessie

Previous Entry

JESSIE

The White Phoenix is always born in twins...

The message was cryptic and unbelievable. Sylis had just told Lana that Jessie instilled in his mind a message as they walked home from the asylum. She called him out for lying. Jessie has never spoken. Why would her first words be to Sylis, let alone in a clear message? But Sy insisted it was truth, though skeptical himself.

“I mean, what legend of a White Phoenix is there?” Sylis asked. Lana shrugged her shoulders. She was irked with the wizard. Part of her felt like he was pulling her leg.

A few weeks after returning from their mission to kill some Hags, Lana had made it a point to do something special with Sylis. She had been keeping herself busy with various activities. Odd jobs for Rasuvius, learning the hooping arts with the folk from the carnival, training with Sylis, and her ‘shifts’ at Faela’s healing ward. The last was just an excuse to see Rin in secret. Lana had been rather open about the times she would go and visit the Halfling, but the jealousy that would come from Sylis was annoying. So she began to lie, using Faela as a cover up since she did owe the Guild.

Still, Lana could see Sylis getting antsy, even though they saw each other every day. He had begun to talk about taking her to see his mother. Part of her wanted to go, but it meant another level of attachment she wasn’t quite prepared for. So she decided to distract him with a visit to see Jessie.

Lana warned Sylis that his safety couldn’t be promised. Jessie may not attack Lana, but even with her there didn’t mean people were safe. The picture Jessie had drawn of Sylis, when Lana first visited her, was warning enough. She had drawn him flying near a cliff, but it could easily be her pushing him off.

Sure enough, when they made to leave, Jessie jumped up and threw her arms around Sylis’s neck. It was only a second, Lana poking a dagger into Jessie’s back.

“Remember what I told ya? Good behavior will set ya free,” Lana hissed in her ear. Jessie quickly let go of Sy and gave him a doe eyed look as though she hadn’t done anything. Then no sooner had they left, Sylis relayed what he heard her say to him: “Legend has it that the White Phoenix is always born in twins. You will meet yours soon.”

“Maybe your mother might know something,” Lana said in an attempt to shut the Wizard up.

“Ah! I bet she would!” Sylis said enthusiastically, “After all, if I have a twin, who better to know about it than her?”

Indeed...

Sylis then grabbed Lana’s hand and together they began to run through the alleys and up onto the roof tops of the market. Any thought about Jessie’s prophecy was soon forgotten and the adrenaline took over in their fun.

Next Entry