Ludejk La’Buq ab Jujnis, 2997
Just finished speaking with Kimaris! It’s a strange bit of excitement within me for he’s... matured? His voice was so different from the boyish tone I had grown use to. I was skeptical at first, trying to make sure it was him by asking questions only Kimaris would know. In fact, the very first question I asked he answered oddly: What did he give me during the second week of our travels to Asura? His reply: My heart.
Part of me cringed that he would still love me, yet how glad I am that he does, and I don’t say that exactly out of assumption. The way he spoke tonight suggested such. Sure there’s a chance I’m getting ahead of myself, but I hope I’m right. The moment Destiny had given me my piece of Home, in the form of a necklace, any reservation I had about age disappeared and- well, I think I’ve known all along that I loved him. It was evident in that moment as the universe surrounded me. I guess the bottom line is I feel guilty to deserve his affection. I’ve been a jerk to him. He’s been a jerk to me... Maybe we both had to grow up.
We conversed for a little while, he calling me pet names that were endearing, but had my stomach churning as Daevri popped on the line. The mechanical being worded my own insecurities, asking why it was Kimaris put such stalk in me. The boy- well... man now? He sounds it anyways- he deflected Daevri’s comments saying if he had met him first, perhaps he would have felt differently. The mechanical man clicked the link off in a huff, I enjoying Daevri’s disgust.
Kimaris and I continued to talk about how things were. He had left to get himself together. I laughed a little saying I’ve been going through my own changes. I didn’t mention my wings, but he seemed happy to hear that I was learning the ways of the Paladins. Kimaris isn’t sure when he’ll get back though. I can only hope my comments of ‘hurry home’ held meaning. Talking with him felt so easy.
Speaking of people easy to talk to and home, I’ve been working on a song. The same day my wings grew in, evening having set in, I spotted Bordel on the overlook. He was by himself and my body just gravitated toward him. My hands were crossed and held to my chest. Oddly enough holding them upright in such a position felt really nice.
We had some small talk, he asking how my hands were. I felt awkward with the added appendage to my arms, but replied that I was holding up. My eyes locked with the valley as I looked across, taking in the beauty of the sunset. I then asked Bordel if he ever missed home. With a moment’s pause, the Cleric responded, “I try not to, there’s nothing there.” A long moment followed as my voice was lost for words. He then added, “I do miss the thought of it, though I shouldn’t. What about you?”
“You put it best. I miss the thought of home too,” I responded. Bordel then asked if it was possible for us to even have one again. It was funny he even said such a thing. With the gift from Kimaris strung around my neck, I’ve had a new thought come to mind. Home was wherever I made it. Not something that I had to search for, but wherever I wanted it to be. At the moment, I didn’t know how to put it into words, but to show my optimism, I replied, “Perhaps,” and since I came up with the words:
(Home by Gabrielle Aplin)
I'm a phoenix in the water
A fish that's learned to fly
And I've always been a daughter
But feathers are meant for the sky
And so I'm wishing, wishing further,
For the excitement to arrive
It's just I'd rather be causing the chaos
Than laying at the sharp end of this knife
With every small disaster
I'll let the waters still
Take me away to some place real
'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone
Is where you go when you're alone
Is where you go to rest your bones
It's not just where you lay your head
It's not just where you make your bed
As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?
Home home home home
So when I'm ready to be bolder,
And my cuts have healed with time
Comfort will rest on my shoulder
And I'll bury my future behind
I'll always keep you with me
You'll be always on my mind
But there's a shining in the shadows
I'll never know unless I try
With every small disaster
I'll let the waters still
Take me away to some place real
'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone
Is where you go when you're alone
Is where you go to rest your bones
It's not just where you lay your head
It's not just where you make your bed
As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?
Home home home home
Still working on the notes with my lyre, but... I feel the lyrics answer Bordel’s question exactly. As long as we’re together... does it matter?
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