9/32/2997: Kimaris?

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Tiæjk La’Sux ab Jujnis, 2997

I had such a lovely dream with Kimaris. Would it sound strange to say it could have been real? Like, how he touched my face and the warmth of his hand... it was more vivid than anything I remember. Actually, it was similar to the night Adam came to me, but I don’t know. Part of me ought to ask Kimaris, but I don’t want the others to know that I’m dreaming about him. I’m pretty sure they’re annoyed as it is with our nightly chats.

Whatever it was, I still can’t stop thinking about it. I had woken up on a blanket. It was purple and soft. My name was just called and as I sat up, an Elf, tall and strong, with dark skin and long black hair, sat nearby. He began to tell me where we were, saying he wanted to show me his home before it was gone forever. I looked around for the voice i had come to know as Kimaris’s, but the man looked far different than what I had expected.

I could see it was night time. A city glowed in the distance, nestled on the coast line of a great ocean. The waves lapped against the rocky base of the cliff, barely illuminated by the city lights and moon. I was on a grassy hill that overlooked the entirety of the city and had almost forgotten who I was looking for.

“Where am I?” I asked thoughtlessly.

“My home,” came the deep, mature voice of Kimaris. I looked back at the man and shifted around. As soon as I saw his dark eyes, everything in me knew it to be him. The little boy I had loved like a brother was vastly different and quite frankly, more handsome than I could have ever dreamed- except I did. My subconscious clearly pieced together a look fitting for Kimaris’s new voice.

Anyways, we sat together, talking about our families. I explained why my relations weren’t better with my mother, she blaming me for my father’s unexalted state when his own undoing was suspected all along.

A song then played. It sounded familiar, but before I knew what was happening, Kimaris and I were in the midst of the universe, watching his world fall apart. Then the pull of gravity was upon me and when I opened my eyes I was back in my room.

I find it rather silly that I feel so disappointed that it was just a dream.

✻   ✻   ✻   ✻   ✻

Of course, emotionally charged and another song just pours out of me.

I had a dream that you were with me.

We dance among the stars so pretty.

You opened up your door

And showed me there is more

To you.

With me you shared all of your secret things.

Giving me reason to still believe.

You invited me inside

Though I tried to say good bye

To you

Now I’m wondering where you are. (ooo)

Are you somewhere in the stars? (ooo)

No I won’t let them in

Nor let them see

The demons deep within

That try to rule me.

Is it a sin

To love so fully

You who in the end

Left too quickly?

We laid in a field by a city

And talked of home; our families.

Reminiscing of our past.

Does it feel we’re moving fast

To you?

Unsure, my heart I tried to keep

From you to stop myself from falling.

Then I asked myself why

Am I trying to hide it

From you?

Now I’m wondering where you are. (ooo)

Are you somewhere in the stars? (ooo)

No I won’t let them in

Nor let them see

The demons deep within

That try to rule me.

Is it a sin

To love so fully

You who in the end

Left too quickly?

I’ll keep looking for your signs

To keep this hope alive.

Show me where to find

And I’ll leave my past behind.

I’m trying to be strong

Promise I will carry on.

And so I’ll close my eyes

May it help keep you alive

For I cannot say good bye...

Now I’m wondering where you are. (ooo)

Are you somewhere in the stars? (ooo)

No I won’t let them in

Nor let them see

The demons deep within

That try to rule me.

Is it a sin

To love so fully

You who in the end

Left too quickly?

✻   ✻   ✻   ✻   ✻

Daevri just gifted me a set of bagpipes. Like, it’s a sort of peace offering. He’s been trying to be more cooperative, but I can’t help but feel there’s ulterior motives. Yet whatever they are, I will strive to one up him. His room is adjacent to mine, so I’m going to learn how to play them.

And I’m going to start first thing in the morning.

Next Entry

9/30/2997: Test #2

Previous Entry

Halejk La’Buq ab Jujnis, 2997

The simulation once more tricked me, but this time I remained level headed. No sooner had I entered into room two, Ahmiaus reminded me that I needed to show the skills I have been learning. Then the sound of oxen, people talking, and creaking of wagon wheels filled my ears. My feet quickly matched pace with the caravan. It was a particularly hot day, the shade of the trees providing little refreshment. I had begun talking with some of the folk, asking where we were headed, since time was slipping on and I hadn’t a clue where the fight would come from.

About an hour passed before the commotion begun. Explosions in the ground tossed dirt into the air, spooking the animals and the folk alike. People began to scatter while those who signed on to guard began shouting for order. I ran up to the one who appeared in charge.

“M’lady, you must run. They are the very people hunting you,” the man told me pointing in a direction blurred with smoke. I was surprised that he knew who I was, but I refused. I had my lyro blade in hand and could feel the magic energies on the tips of my fingers. I then told Bubblesnort to go into the canopy above and let me know what was out there.

A few moments later, I relayed to those who remained to fight what the faerie dragon saw: that there was a Necromancy and a Fighter with him. From the smoke came skeletons the Necro had summoned. Memories of the first fight I was apart of (with Bordel and Kimaris) flashed through my mind. My heart pounded and I fought through whatever fear or reservation I had. I began sending out the new magics I had, attempting to knock out the advancing skeletons.

The undead continued to advance and I began to feel unsure and scared. I had to wonder why my magics held no power. I couldn’t sap them of any energy! The caravan leader gripped my shoulder and got in my face amidst the battle cries that echoed about. “Are you to help us or not!?” he spat.

“I’m trying, but my magics-”

“Then use that pretty little sword you have there!”

My face slacked and my legs weak at the thought of getting close to the creatures, but as though he could read my mind, the man said, “If you’re afraid you’ll hurt them, you’re too late for that. They’re already dead. You’ll be returning them to their natural form.”

The man then went on to fight a skeleton that was creeping up on us. With new resolve and a strange realization that I hadn’t thought of before, I gripped my blade and focused on what I had been taught. Into battle I went and quite frankly, it was fulfilling seeing how well I held myself.

The fighter was the first to strike of the duo. He got me from behind, his sword catching me under my arm. I almost lost it there, but managed to pull myself together, parrying his blade the best I could. He was very strong and was overpowering me when I pulled a maneuver. I blocked another attack and quickly side stepped so that his weight from the attack would knock him off balance without my resistance. I sent my open palm into the side of his shoulder shouting, “Da Na’ee!” and watched with great satisfaction as the fighter straightened, shaking his head to rid the fog of energy loss.

Soon I had the fighter subdued, taking a few more blows to my knuckles and nose. When I turned around, I could see the Necromancer being pelted with arrows. I channeled my magics toward him, siphoning his energies too. Once he fell to his knees and passed out, I quickly commanded the men to lay down their arms.

“There is no need to kill them,” I began to say and was met with protest, but I pressed on, “Bind them and take them to the city. Let the courts deal with them and have them be tried for their crimes. If anything, they might be able to glean from these two members where the others are in the Order. Let the law deal with them and not taint your own hands with their blood.”

With reluctance, the men listened and soon the two Order members were bound and placed in a wagon. I had walked but a few paces when the caravan disappeared and Ahmiaus came unto me.

“Well done, far better than the last,” he mentioned. And thus I was spared from doing the Vrum Lejkmars.

Other than that, I once more chatted with Kimaris. We kind of played truth or dare. I chose truth, since he couldn’t see me do a dare, nor did I feel comfortable doing one if he went with it. He asked, “ Did you feel bad when you crushed the boy’s heart.” For a moment I thought he meant Achmath, but he clarified that he meant who he was, as a young boy weeks ago. I confessed I did. I think too highly of other people’s opinions and feelings.

I then asked him, and Kimaris chose truth too. So the question that came to mind was if he had parents. I felt guilty afterwards for it. He was born of an Elven mother and a half Elf father. He was sent to the monastery after the molten mountain incident. Of course I pressed to know what that was. Apparently the life before this one, he was tasked with keeping the citizens safe, but failed when the mountain erupted, destruction everywhere in its wake. He confessed to wanting to forget that memory.

With as heartfelt of an apology as one can give via the telepathic link, I apologized for bringing the topic up. Kim brushed it aside, saying that it’s because of that moment that he is striving to find Eden. Kimaris will do it with or without the cups. I then had an opportunity to express to him my thoughts, about whether we needed to, considering two cups have already been secured. All we need to do is find the members of the Order and put an end to their deeds. And considering they are hunting us down, we likely wouldn’t have to put much work into the hunt either.

Kimaris gave a sigh and mentioned that the cups themselves hold their own power which the Order shouldn’t be allowed to wield. I shrugged, though he couldn't see. All I can say is I’ll go where the group goes, but I ultimately don’t want to look for a fight. Next Entry

9/29/2997: Just Jump

Previous Entry

Ojtejk La’Buq ab Jujnis, 2997

Had our first simulation as a group today. It was a rather gory endeavour. Ahmiaus had informed me that the afternoon would be spent with my companions as we went through a trial that had us work together. It seemed smart, other than we weren’t really instructed on how to work together. It was just thrown upon us.

We gathered in front of room one, where the tests are held on Halejk. It turned out to be just me, Destiny, and Daevri at first. Bordel was in with the Founder and Zaren was detained by some other task. I furrowed my brow and thought it strange that were assigned to do a group assessment only for two of the five to be exempt because of other obligations, but I didn’t question. I was more eager to prove myself to the others.

The three of us were instructed to locate the Chalice of Healing (trapped away in a tower), Destiny giggling. “We’re being trained to find a cup,” she whispered. I did find that mildly humoring considering that is the pressing matter we’re responsible for. Although... to be honest, I have to wonder if we really need to bother with it. Seriously. We were collecting them to prevent the Order to ever find all ten and use their combined power to make a wish. WIth two already secured, they’ll never be able to accomplish their task. I haven’t told anyone that thought yet, but nevertheless it is something I’ve pondered about.

So with the task in mind, Destiny, Daevri, and myself walked into the room and waited for the simulation to present itself. Trees formed, the kind you’d see in a jungle. Then the rain began to fall. It was thick and warm and blurred my vision. It was blood. I went to grab a large leaf from a nearby tree and believe it or not, the darn thing bit me! And worse, it was trying to suck the blood. It dawned on me quickly that the forest was vampiric, but only as Bordel showed up.

His meeting with the Founder was less than formidable. Basically the simulation we were in, if we failed it would mean our death. I mentioned then that I was likely a lost cause as I felt the effects of the vampire bite taking hold. Goodness, the look in Bordel’s eyes as I showed him the bite on my left arm, and the great ax that Daevri drew high, had me certain I was about to loose my arm to save me. I made to jerk my arm away, but Bordel held strong and simply placed his other hand over the bite mark. I then felt his warm magics collect and create a kind of seal. He told me he had placed a protection spell from the evil magics to stay the effects of the vampirism while we remained in the simulation.

The Cleric had summoned a dragon to provide cover from the blood rain and soon we were on our way to find the chalice, keeping a safe distance from the trees. Bubblesnort went and surveyed the path ahead for any signs of a tower. Upon his return he mentioned that the tower was just a few more minutes ahead and protected by many ghouls.

Sure enough when our destination came into view, a sea of ghouls stretched out before us. Bordel sent the dragon into the midst of the creatures, I summoning a barrier overhead to avoid the falling blood.

The summoned creature walked out amidst the ghouls and soon was swarmed by them. As they clung to the illusion, Bordel uttered a few words before the dragon burst into rays of light, killing all of the undead creatures. The wave of energy that came from it knocked me down onto the blood soaked ground.

Once I regained my footing, we quickly hurried over to the door of the tower. It was unlocked, but inside Daevri and Destiny determined that we needed to pay attention to the pattern of falling items. It was oddly rhythmic, and I was ready to follow up the stairs, careful to move once I saw the item fall. However Daevri thought otherwise and called out to me a warning, to which I hesitated and got hit by a brick. I gritted my teeth and looked at the mechanical boy and resumed my focus.

At the top of the tower, there was a single room with a pile of wealth. All sorts of gems, weapons, armor, and finery littered about the place. But then they moved! The items literally made up the creature that began to attack us. I furrowed my brow unsure if my magics would work on such a creature. I instructed Bubbles to turn into some kind of earth elemental and the faerie dragon happily obliged. He joined Destiny’s and Daevri’s forces as they proceeded to tear apart the creature item by item.

I worked a spell to make the creature hesitant about attacking us, but can’t say if it really did much. Items were flying about the room, and I had only a moment to look at the creature in his jeweled eyes when a sword came right at me. I flew my hands up instinctively in anticipation for contact, but a dull thud, like an arrow hitting it’s target, rang loud. I opened my eyes and found a shield impaled by the blade. Bordel had summoned it just in time and I quickly thanked him.

We all worked together to tear the creature apart. The more disassembled the creature became, the more the tower began to crumble. I knew we were fighting against time. My mind wondered if we’d find the cup first or fall to our deaths in the midst of the tower. It was Destiny who answered that question as she held up the cup stating, “I got it!” but as soon as those words escaped her, she began to vomit. She threw the cup toward me and Bordel. The Cleric reached down and took it, but I insisted that I hold onto it for he was showing signs of illness.

I used my magics to hold the object, the tower continuing to crumble. “We need to leave now,” Bordel instructed and jumped out the window.

“How are we to get out?” I questioned. The Cleric had a way of manipulating rock and so I wasn’t too worried about how he was getting down, but the rest of us...

“Bubbles, can you turn into something big enough to catch us?” I asked. The creature nodded and hopped out the window. “Jump Miss Malaney!” he called back to me. I looked out the window at faerie dragon disguised in rock and earth. The idea of stone catching me sounded about as pleasant as hitting the ground itself. Daevri came up next to me, took a peek, then tried to push me out the window. I elbowed him away.

“Com’on, you got wings now,” he said as he jumped out, creating an illusion of wings to tease me.

“Yeah, but the feathers are still growing,” I muttered. It then came to me. I looked at the cup in the translucent hand then to Destiny.

“Wasn’t the simulation to end once we found the cup?”

Destiny shrugged. I then got my waterskin into hand and poured a little water into the cup. I dribbled the water from the cup onto my bitten arm and watched to see if it would cure the wound. I was appalled to find the wound to fester and become infected. Confused, I shrug, maintained the cup and jumped out the window. I figured if I was going to die, what was jumping all that bad?

Lucky us, the simulation was over. I had closed my eyes, waiting for my back to hit the ground. Instead my feet felt something firm beneath them and my center of gravity shifted to orient me in a vertical fashion. My lungs huffed in the cool air as a light pierced the dark room we stood in.

“The cup?” they asked. Quickly I handed the thing to them, partly annoyed on their timing. Ahmiaus walked over to me, holding a hand out. “May I see your arm?” he asked. I placed my left hand into his so he could examine the bite. Interestingly enough, my arm was whole, but I could feel the ickiness of the vampire venom faintly.

“So why didn’t you jump?” he asked. I narrowed my eyes.

“Because I would have been hurt or dead.”

“Did you not trust you dragon friend to catch you?”

“I imagined there wouldn't have been much of a difference beween him or the ground.”

“Bordel seemed to have no problems-”’

“Because he can manipulate rock! I have not learned that.”

“But you have wings whereas the others do not.”

“Really? Might I point out that you are scolding me for not jumping when in fact I accomplished the task you sent us in there for? What was jumping from a tower to prove?” I replied vehemently. Ahmiaus smiled gently and simply said, “Trust.”

The monks who took the chalice returned and in the cup was more water. Ahmiaus took the object and held it to me. “You should drink this. You’ll feel better.” I refused, telling him what it did to my arm. My teacher informed me that the cup had been corrupted and has been disenchanted of the evil magics.

“You first then,” I said. I didn’t care if it was another trust game he was trying to play with me. My annoyance was peaked and I wasn’t about to drink from something that could very well kill me.

Ahmiaus took a small sip, wiped his lip and stood patiently. I eventually took the cup and drank. Sure enough it worked. The venom that lingered disappeared. I quickly humbled myself and thanked my teacher before hurrying off for dinner.

I’ve relayed the day's event to Kimaris who just chuckled along saying that the monks can be a bit sadistic at times, but to take heart that it’s all for the best and preparing us to think on our toes when the unexpected comes up.

Kimaris still hasn’t told me when he’ll return, but one can hope it’ll be soon. Until then, I need to rest for tomorrow is my second test. I can only hope I will fair it far better than the first. Next Entry

9/28/2997: The Call to Kimaris

Previous Entry

Ludejk La’Buq ab Jujnis, 2997

Just finished speaking with Kimaris! It’s a strange bit of excitement within me for he’s... matured? His voice was so different from the boyish tone I had grown use to. I was skeptical at first, trying to make sure it was him by asking questions only Kimaris would know. In fact, the very first question I asked he answered oddly: What did he give me during the second week of our travels to Asura? His reply: My heart.

Part of me cringed that he would still love me, yet how glad I am that he does, and I don’t say that exactly out of assumption. The way he spoke tonight suggested such. Sure there’s a chance I’m getting ahead of myself, but I hope I’m right. The moment Destiny had given me my piece of Home, in the form of a necklace, any reservation I had about age disappeared and- well, I think I’ve known all along that I loved him. It was evident in that moment as the universe surrounded me. I guess the bottom line is I feel guilty to deserve his affection. I’ve been a jerk to him. He’s been a jerk to me... Maybe we both had to grow up.

We conversed for a little while, he calling me pet names that were endearing, but had my stomach churning as Daevri popped on the line. The mechanical being worded my own insecurities, asking why it was Kimaris put such stalk in me. The boy- well... man now? He sounds it anyways- he deflected Daevri’s comments saying if he had met him first, perhaps he would have felt differently. The mechanical man clicked the link off in a huff, I enjoying Daevri’s disgust.

Kimaris and I continued to talk about how things were. He had left to get himself together. I laughed a little saying I’ve been going through my own changes. I didn’t mention my wings, but he seemed happy to hear that I was learning the ways of the Paladins. Kimaris isn’t sure when he’ll get back though. I can only hope my comments of ‘hurry home’ held meaning. Talking with him felt so easy.

Speaking of people easy to talk to and home, I’ve been working on a song. The same day my wings grew in, evening having set in, I spotted Bordel on the overlook. He was by himself and my body just gravitated toward him. My hands were crossed and held to my chest. Oddly enough holding them upright in such a position felt really nice.

We had some small talk, he asking how my hands were. I felt awkward with the added appendage to my arms, but replied that I was holding up. My eyes locked with the valley as I looked across, taking in the beauty of the sunset. I then asked Bordel if he ever missed home. With a moment’s pause, the Cleric responded, “I try not to, there’s nothing there.” A long moment followed as my voice was lost for words. He then added, “I do miss the thought of it, though I shouldn’t. What about you?”

“You put it best. I miss the thought of home too,” I responded. Bordel then asked if it was possible for us to even have one again. It was funny he even said such a thing. With the gift from Kimaris strung around my neck, I’ve had a new thought come to mind. Home was wherever I made it. Not something that I had to search for, but wherever I wanted it to be. At the moment, I didn’t know how to put it into words, but to show my optimism, I replied, “Perhaps,” and since I came up with the words:

(Home by Gabrielle Aplin)

I'm a phoenix in the water

A fish that's learned to fly

And I've always been a daughter

But feathers are meant for the sky

And so I'm wishing, wishing further,

For the excitement to arrive

It's just I'd rather be causing the chaos

Than laying at the sharp end of this knife

With every small disaster

I'll let the waters still

Take me away to some place real

'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone

Is where you go when you're alone

Is where you go to rest your bones

It's not just where you lay your head

It's not just where you make your bed

As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?

Home home home home

So when I'm ready to be bolder,

And my cuts have healed with time

Comfort will rest on my shoulder

And I'll bury my future behind

I'll always keep you with me

You'll be always on my mind

But there's a shining in the shadows

I'll never know unless I try

With every small disaster

I'll let the waters still

Take me away to some place real

'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone

Is where you go when you're alone

Is where you go to rest your bones

It's not just where you lay your head

It's not just where you make your bed

As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?

Home home home home

Still working on the notes with my lyre, but... I feel the lyrics answer Bordel’s question exactly. As long as we’re together... does it matter? Next Entry

9/26/2997: A New Leaf

Previous Entry

Tiæjk La’Buq ab Jujnis, 2997

My wrists still burn from the growing pains, but thankfully more manageable than what I endured to write yesterday.

Last night I went and chatted with Ahmiaus about what I had seen in the dream. He greeted me warmly, something I wasn’t anticipating considering his disappointment the day prior. Destiny had informed him of my condition and so it made the discussion of my training far easier to brooch. Unsure how in depth I ought to go with what I saw, I simply stated that I felt I would benefit greatly if my magics were catered to putting the creature to rest; sapping them of their energy versus physically harming them. My teacher thought and a soft smile crept to his lips.

“Indeed we can do that,” Ahmiaus said. It was like a burden was lifted. And so on a more positive note, my training should be even more beneficial. May I not choke up the next fight that comes our way. Next Entry